Pain - Why am I entering into pain when my loved ones are not talking with me?

What actually happened when my loved ones are getting angry on me? why am I getting angry on my loved one?

after things are back to normal, if we observe what's really happening and why is that happening?

every moment in life, we are evolving to another level but we are holding onto our justifications or an image about anything or anyone. I get angry when my dad doesn't talk with me and why is he not willing to talk - he is carrying something in his mind and he wanted to express the emotions onto me. My ways of expectation of expressing his emotions is just by talking but did i do the same thing to Poornima earlier? No - when things are not as expected why don't we talk and resolve? what's stopping? 

Someone is not behaving to me as expected?

    what's my expectation? lets talk and sort it out, can we talk everything and sort it out? do I listen what other person goes through or do i expect other person listen to me? what is the expectation? should i expect a change outside or should i expect a change inside? what kind of change am i expecting?

do i expect the other person to understand about me or do I understand about other person? what's in my control and what's not in my control? 

What's in my control? My feelings and my emotions - what feeling do i go through when my loved ones hate me ? Is it a feeling of guilt that though they did good to me, I did wrong to them? Do I really or intentionally wanted to do wrong things to my loved ones? what has really happened was going through an emotional feelings of attachment - I am attached to my wife at the same time I am attached to my sister's daughter - if anyone stops me from what I wanted to do, I get angry - why is it so?

First of all why my feelings are popping out at certain times or at certain situations. why do i breakdown, why do i feel sad. Feeling of guilt or feeling of lack. 

what I want? do I express what I want? What Haran did? He asked and he did a follow up and he forced them to come and visit? finally they made a point to come and visit him. Maybe is that how we should express what we want? maybe the other person may not get what exactly we go thorough and want !!

when people are weak, they are not able to tolerate the emotions and they let out in any form. I want to prepare my mind to go through any tuff or heated situations across my family life, friends life, professional life, social life etc.

I want to respond to situations and deal nicely - Universe please give me the power and determination to handle tuff situations - Please give me next tuff situation and make me handle the energy around. 

Now - I am doing body building and mind building - Both I wanted to be capable of it - I want both - A harmony with strong mind and a strong body!! It comes through practice of journey with enlightnment

Every day - I dedicate time to practice my mind - morning and evening - meditation - whatever happens - as long as I live, I give gratitude morning and evening - I am the reminder of what I am now. Feeling of guilt, feeling of any negative form of energy to be eradicated every morning and evening like how I clean my home, I'm cleaning my thought every morning and evening. This is for me and for myself and I am very selfish on this activity and I am exploring on that journey!